So I wasn’t really planning on doing a review post for 2011, but I have some time to kill before I put on my makeup for tonight and I thought I’d give it a shot. It’s not that 2011 was uneventful (by any means!) but I just didn’t think I had a whole lot to say about it.

This time last year I was in Melbourne, I was exploring a relationship with a lovely young man called M who was into forced feminisation. It was quite by accident that, at the epic new years eve party hosted by erinkyan, I met a fierce femme (F) who showed me the pleasures of the dragon tail whip.

Little did I know, but kink was going to be an important part of my journey in 2011. By March I had entered the Canberra scene, green and willing to give most things a try, but held back my timidity. I also introduced my girlfriend at the time to it and her boisterous personality led to her getting far more play than I did. And yes, I resented that.

Eventually I grew to realise that she didn’t care for me the way she or I really wanted to, and we broke up. I felt free, but I also felt angry about all the energy I spent and how it hurt and how I missed her. To this day, though I bear her no ill will, I have days where I can’t stand the sight of her or the merest evidence of her existence.

I made friends in the scene, and soon I was no longer the new girl. I developed an interest in impact play of all kinds and (I think) something of a reputation as a pain slut. I decided to identify as a switch for a number of months, though I have now retracted this as I’m not sure where I stand on the D/s spectrum. I’m a masochist, certainly, but do I also incorporate a sub role into that identity?

While I was figuring all this out, I was constantly reaffirming my relationship with my primary (vanilla) partner. We don’t have a sexual relationship, so the way I gained fulfillment from kink sometimes made zie feel inadequate and insecure. It has definitely been a year of consolidating my primary relationship.

In October I met my mistress, Empress. Our first play session was magical and my masochism was a good match for her sadism. We have only played a handful of times, but beyond the kink there is a tenderness and mutual love of women. I had pretty much given up on finding a mistress that suited my needs, so it was a lovely surprise when Empress came along.

Outside of kink, my career has been picking up, my relationships with family are strong and I have my wedding to look forward to in the new year!

2011 did have it’s shit moments - having to move house again. But overall it wasn’t that bad - hardly anyone I love got seriously ill, I got to see my family and do some awesome things, and everything worked out well in the end. So I’m counting 2011 as a win.